I’ve gotten a hold of all the paperwork I need to apply for the wheelchair accessible apartment! I have everything I need! Oh I can’t wait to have my own place again. Since this started I’ve had zero personal space either physically or environmentally. People touch and prod, observe and examine, when and where they like. And they’ve done it since February when the train wreck began. So now after 5 months of living in a hospital with 2 months of that 5 in a nursing home, I will have night time privacy.

Coming w me to the new place (when I get one) will be the staff: nurses, CNA’s and the physical therapist. I’ll have a CNA 3x a week for four hours. It seems like a lot but there’s still a lot I’m unable to do for myself.

I look forward to finally getting back in the wheelchair. It’s too narrow here to use so I have to try to walk more often than is beneficial. Anyway, for me, that wheelchair is independence. I can get up and get around as long as I have my horse / wheelchair. Honestly, looking out at life from the seat of the chair shows not disability but possibilities. There are too many ‘I can’t’ sentences when I’m dealing primarily with the walker. My body took some serious hits. Despite improvement, they project two years before I’ll walk normally again. I know I’ve beaten a lot of odds but I can tell what I’m dealing with neurologically. I still have difficulty feeling my lower legs, still can’t feel areas of my lower stomach. The nerves are damaged and could take years to regenerate.

I explained why I’m looking forward to using the wheelchair as if somehow one must justify not walking. There’s a stigma for sure. Walk at any cost! Sometimes the cost is unreasonable. Pain. Fatigue. These count for why a person would sit in the chair instead of fight through just to show others they’re a fighter. I am a fighter, one who chooses her weapons wisely. The chair will help me win more battles than a walker will! Let my war chariot be my wheelchair. With that, I offer no other justifications.

Jordan



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