“I shouldn’t need to be validated, right?”
Answer: It depends. I will detail 3 ways in which a person can receive validation to bring some clarity to this very important question.
Validation to fill a lack
It is possible to need validation from others because we feel a lack in ourselves. We look outside for comfort,for reassurance, for confidence in the form of validation. We are trying to fill the hole we feel inside. We are trying to function in life through external support and external motivation. This relationship to validation is not the healthiest. This person is not rooted in themselves and therefore, can be easily pushed over. She can exhaust herself in the constant hunt for more validation and never feel whole or sure of who she is.
Validation as icing on the cake
Receiving validation from others will probably always feel nice. Who doesn’t enjoy being validated?! In this scenario though, we don’t need the validation. This person already feels assured and confident within herself. She is deeply rooted in her values and acts in alignment with what is important to her. When someone validates her actions, it is icing on the cake! An affirmation of what she already knows, “I’m living my life the way I want to.”
Validation in transition
The middle ground between the two previous examples is validation while in transition. When we are making a shift in the way we’ve always done things, or learning something new, validation can play a pivotal role in answering the question, “Am I on the right track?” This is incredibly important for ourWild Women because we are going against the grain culturally. We are rebelling against what we’ve been taught and demanding something more. When you feel yourself outside the “norm”, it is very helpful to have validation and know that you are not alone. That you are doing something worth validating. That you are not crazy 🙂
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